“From Hopelessness to Happiness: How I Found Bliss After Wanting to Die”

Photo by Stormseeker on Unsplash

In order for something new in our lives, the old must go.

Empty your cup, and start from the beginning.

Throw out the old tea, you are getting too used to that taste.

Break the cup if you must, get a new one, but give yourself the chance.

My memory holds a very special day of remembrance. It was the day I called one of my very best friends and in the calmest and most put together voice, I told her I was done. I was exhausted of feeling like Sisyphus pushing the rock up the hill and unless we could talk this through to make sense, I was going to take my life. In my case, suicide wasn’t because I was miserably depressed or hopeless, it was because I didn’t know what else to hope for. My life was littered with people I had inspired and offered transformation, my son was successful and found a loving person to share life with, my family as close as can be even with our fair share of tragic events. What else was there?

Obviously, I’m still here, I experienced that 4 years ago. I was viewing life from the wrong perspective. I was living from a place of expectation and lists of accomplishments, rather than simply allowing myself to be and to experience and to savor life. There is an unknowable mystery as to why events happen…